As the day draws nearer, I get a little more nervous. It's not in my character to take blind leaps like this; throughout my life, I've consistently taken the safe choice. I have to keep reminding myself, however, that there is no safe choice available to me anymore. Even if everything goes as wrong as possible out west, I'm not exactly sure what the outcome will be, but I am sure that it won't be materially different from the outcome I'd get by not taking this risk. And by taking the leap, I'm creating the possibility that something may go right, a possibility that doesn't exist in this basement (or, at least, in my basement frame of mind.) It scares me that I've made this decision at exactly the worst moment in my lifetime, and I'm very worried about finding a job once I get out there. But it doesn't scare me so much that I'm having any second thoughts. What I'm doing may or may not be the best choice for me, but I know that it's a better choice than doing nothing.
Pictured: the stream that wends through
Fern Canyon.
It's stretching things a bit to call this a Eureka-area photo. It's a view from Page Mountain in the Siskiyous, looking north into Oregon. It'd take me a couple of hours or more to get there from Eureka.
As the day draws nearer, I get a little more nervous. It's not in my character to take blind leaps like this; throughout my life, I've consistently taken the safe choice. I have to keep reminding myself, however, that there is no safe choice available to me anymore. Even if everything goes as wrong as possible out west, I'm not exactly sure what the outcome will be, but I am sure that it won't be materially different from the outcome I'd get by not taking this risk. And by taking the leap, I'm creating the possibility that something may go right, a possibility that doesn't exist in this basement (or, at least, in my basement frame of mind.) It scares me that I've made this decision at exactly the worst moment in my lifetime, and I'm very worried about finding a job once I get out there. But it doesn't scare me so much that I'm having any second thoughts. What I'm doing may or may not be the best choice for me, but I know that it's a better choice than doing nothing.
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